Excess consumption, freedom from laboring while being cared for by
others, cocooning ourselves away from the less pleasant aspects of
our world, focus upon ourselves as "individuals" who deserve everything
the world has to offer, whether we can afford it or not -- our
society has offered this vision as the epitome of the "good life."
As many of you know, Lloyd and I returned recently from a two-week
cruise to the Caribbean, a generous gift from my mother. It
was not something we would have chosen to do on our own, but with
ten relatives travelling together, it was a special time.
It was, however, ironic to be in that environment as I contemplated
the theme of classism. It made us acutely aware of discrepancies in
lifestyle and financial resources, especially between many of the
passengers and the rank and file crew members. Most of these
crew members were from Eastern Europe or the Philippines. They
work 13 hours a day, seven days a week, for ten months at a stretch.
I felt like we'd stepped back two hundred years - but even in Regency
England the "help" got a half-day off every week! How can one
be fully human without some time to oneself?
Many of them, men and women alike, have children back home, being
cared for by relatives. They see themselves making a great sacrifice
for their children's future. Others are supporting elderly parents.
Coming from countries with no dependable safety net, where unemployment
is up to 30%, and where a surgeon makes only the equivalent of $300.
Canadian per month, they feel fortunate to work on the cruise ships.
A number of them have university degrees.
To a degree, then, in this situation "trickle-down" economics is working
on a global scale. But we felt deeply uncomfortable with the
situation. Many of the passengers treated the staff rudely,
and felt free to demand that their needs be met instantly. A
part of the training the crew receives is how never to say "no" to
a passenger - to communicate positive alternatives instead.
Sounds good on the surface, doesn't it? But the ability to say "no"
has always been a mark of power. As a woman, I am particularly
conscious of that. Passengers are pledged, "We'll never say
'no' to you, whatever you say or do." Talk about a fantasy world!
And seductive to many who don't have that kind of power and pampering
in their everyday lives. I think that may be as much of the
allure for some as the sights.
Sometimes I've regretted that the motto "the customer is always right"
seems no longer operative most places in North America. Even,
sometimes, when the service person has clearly made a mistake!
But it was unreal to be in an environment where it was so rigorously
practiced. We supported the fitness teacher when she did not
give up her dinner break to give one of the demanding passengers a
massage, and turned in rave comment cards about her to help balance
the complaint that was surely forthcoming. But few of the staff
would have been so assertive. She was British, there are job
possibilities for her on land, so she was less anxious than most.
Even those who struggle financially here in Canada are rarely so subservient
as these crew members. Separated from family, devoting
themselves to solicitous caregiving to those more fortunate than themselves,
forbidden to say "no" - yet those I asked about their lives were quick
to tell their stories. Being seen as a human being - being visible
as a person who has worth and dignity - there was a hunger to be acknowledged.
How often in our everyday lives to we actually see the less fortunate
in our midst? Are their stories real to us? I've never
forgotten interviewing the homeless on the streets in San Diego, and
hearing in each story some strand of human dignity to which the teller
was clinging. "At least I'm not pushing a shopping cart - at
least I'm sober - at least I'm not in jail."
I suspect few, if any, of us in this room are free of judgments towards
some of the behaviours and attitudes of those less fortunate than
ourselves. We make assumptions that "we" - those in this room
- are "like us." That means culturally, if not always economically,
middle-class. Listen to one another's stories, folks!
We are diverse. Many of us have experienced ups and downs in
the course of our lives. Quite a few have not been able to create
the life they hoped for when they were younger. Our ambitions
have been scaled down, for we no longer believe we live in a world
where "anything is possible." Life does say "no" to us.
We who are culturally middle class do make assumptions about our own
power to shape our lives. I notice, though, that this is less
strong here than in Southern California. There, it is still
more common to feel that one can become almost anything one wants
to become - that life will unfold according to plan. Folks haven't
quite given up the belief that "anything is possible."
Many of us in this room know that, economically, the line between
middle class and poor is easily crossed in our time. Yet there
are other ways in which middle class assumptions persist, even when
we find ourselves struggling to make ends meet. Kaitlin pointed
out to me that taking pride in saving money by buying clothes at Value
Village, for example, is a middle class attitude. For others
who see themselves as poor, it may be a source of shame.
In Europe, and especially in England, the middle class evolved not
only as a financial phenomenon, but as a distinct culture, taking
pride in values different from the aristocracy. Values such
as hard work, honesty, thrift, and moral uprightness. Aristocrats
were even scorned by many as lazy, morally lax, and prone to excess.
Yet what we observed on that ship mimicked aristocratic culture in
many ways. North American culture at large is pushing excess as the
mark of the good life. Since hard work seems no longer to offer
the rewards it once did, even traditional "middle class" folk are
succumbing. Much of the middle class has been seduced into identifying
with the powerful, rather than making common cause with those who
are poor.
What are the assumptions I would like to invite us to challenge today?
Assumptions about what gives a person value - often unconscious judgments
about the worth of others, based upon their life circumstances and
values.
Most of us would agree easily that wealth is no measure of worth.
Neither are the marks of wealth - excess consumption, freedom from
laboring for others while being cared for oneself, cocooning ourselves
away from whatever is distasteful or unpleasant in our society.
Nor are they a recipe for happiness, despite all the voices telling
us otherwise. Even the power to say "no" can be used to close
out much that might enrich us.
Yet we may be less quick to see our own expectations that certain
of our needs deserve to be met, and now, if you please. I've
been embarrassed more than once at Unitarian conferences at how attendees
treated those who served them, when what they wanted was not immediately
available.
That characteristic may be even more common to those with wealth.
On the cruise, I overheard a number of comments expressing unhappiness
because aspects of the experience did not live up to expectations
- or because something was not available when they wanted it.
It did not seem to be a very happy crowd, and neither money nor solicitous
attention and pampering could change that. Some even complained
about the food, which we found amazing! Moderation, service to others,
and openness to the world around us are more likely to bring happiness
than excessively high expectations based upon an exaggerated notion
of what one "deserves." Everyone deserves roses as well as bread.
We may also be less quick to stand back from those traditional middle
class values of hard work and thrift. Nor is it always easy
to avoid a demeaning kind of compassion. Letters to the Editor
in the UU World run the gamut - from idealizing the poor to assuming
that most who want to can better their condition. Neither extreme
is helpful. Many living in poverty have handicaps of one sort
or another which are barriers to simply improving their situation.
Others - especially single mothers with children - have been victims
of circumstances beyond their control. As long as we are cocooning
ourselves away from seeing their faces - from hearing their stories
- from experiencing their humanity in all its pain, struggle and joy
- for just so long can we maintain our own complacency about the benefits
we enjoy so disproportionately.
I would like to leave you with some statistics. 80% of the world's
people live in developing countries. "Basic education for all
who aren't getting it now would cost $9 billion a year. . . 12 Billion
is spent on cosmetics each year in the US alone. Basic sanitation.
. for all would cost $13.5 billion … Europeans spend $16.5 billion
each year just on ice cream. (we in North America spend more).
Reproductive health services for all women would cost $18 billion.
That's the amount spent on perfumes in North America and Europe.
Basic health care and nutrition would cost $19.5 billion. People
in the US spend more each year on pet food." Then there is the
$230 billion North Americans spend on alcohol annually. We are
producing and consuming 6 times the goods and services we did 25 years
ago - and we know most of that is not reaching the poor even in Canada,
let alone the developing world. The gap is growing.
We are all complicit. Can we be more mindful of our own attitudes?
Can we choose, in small ways if not in large, to change our own way
of life in the direction of responsible stewardship? Are there
ways we can influence our society? Can we at least step out
of our cocoon and really see our struggling neighbors? Can we
offer them - and one another -- respect and appropriate loving kindness?
If you can, please stay for our Forum after the service. It
will be an opportunity to share experiences and insights, and perhaps
to deepen our commitment to mindful living.
