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Covenant of Right Relations

Draft, January 2006

On January 21 the UCS Council got together to discuss some important issues facing the congregation today. One of the products of that meeting was the draft of a possible Covenant of Right Relations for the
UCS. A Covenant of Right Relations is a set of guidelines for respectful communication amongst
individuals when engaging in congregational activities. Such guidelines are meant to reduce the
amount of conflict, misunderstandings and hurt feelings that can occur when people speak
passionately about subjects important to them.

The Council went through a deliberate process to develop a draft of a Covenant that they hope will
be used (and perhaps amended) by the entire congregation over the next few months. A final
(revised?) version of this Covenant will be presented at the Spring AGM to be voted on for formal
adoption by the congregation. Here is the Covenant as it stands:

I WILL STRIVE TO:

  • Speak for myself, with honesty.
  • Listen attentively, interact respectfully, acknowledge other people’s views and try to imagine holding their opinions.
  • Confirm my understanding of what has been said.
  • Remember that people differ in their perceptions, previous experiences and communication needs and styles.
  • Take responsibility for my words and actions and be aware of how they may affect others.
  • Follow through with action on promises and commitments.
  • Go directly to a person with whom I disagree and share differences respectfully. If needed, I will use a third party to mediate.
  • Stay engaged and be patient with myself, others and the process of change.
  • Lighten up, let go of the trivial and be willing to give and take.

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions on this draft of the Covenant of Right Relations, please contact anyone on the council with your ideas.

I would like to thank everyone on the Council that was at the retreat for their hard work to develop an incredibly useful tool that the congregation has needed and will continue to need for a long time.

Anthony Walmsley
Council Retreat Meeting of the U.C.S.